Hogwarts Christmas Party
by Ilana
Summary: erm... a very quirky party...... overused topic i know but still......


1 The Hogwarts Christmas Party  
  
The Hogwarts School had begun its Christmas break, and this year almost every student had gone home. In fact only six students were left, and one teacher. Harry of course, was staying, and Ron decided to stay to keep him company. Hermoine stayed, because frankly, her parents were sick of her spending every holiday in her room studying. Fred and George were staying so they could make up all their excess detentions, and Draco's parents could not receive him for the holidays, because they were away on 'business'. Professor Snape was the only teacher not vacationing for the holidays, and had been left the duty of planning the annual Christmas Party.  
  
For most of the holidays, Fred and George spent almost all their time spending quality time with the pictures as a punishment. Needless to say it was perhaps the most boring and cruel task ever designed as punishment in Hogwarts. Hermoine spent her holidays holed up in a book with a glass of hot chocolate that refilled itself. Ron and Harry spent most of their time in the Gryffindor common room playing wizard's chess, or getting smashed on eggnog they stole from the kitchen. Snape too, spent most of his winter recess drunk, with his magical never ending supply of vodka and martinis with little umbrellas.  
  
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At about nine p.m. on Christmas eve, Harry, Hermoine and Ron entered the Hogwarts Banquet Hall, where the party was being held. Happy red and green streamers were hanging from the walls and Santa hats and menorah's floated in the air. However, one of Snape's decorations had gone horribly wrong, as it was literally pouring red and green confetti.  
  
"Confettius Lightius!" Hermoine said, with a swoosh of her wand. The storm of confetti turned in to a light drizzle, making the hall seem like a giant holiday snowglobe. Now Ron, Harry and Hermoine could see the rest of the room clearly. Snape had on a little Mrs.Clause costume, much like the one angel wears in Rent. He had sparkly red high heels, a little Santa hat and green and red striped stockings. He had a liter full of eggnog in his hand, and was prancing in a circle around Draco singing a song from *NSYNC's Christmas album. Draco was not looking too happy, as Snape had forced him to dress with appropriate holiday cheer. He was in full elf gear, from the pointed ears to the pointed shoes. He even had on green glitter eyeshadow and shimmery pink blush. Fred and George were holding each other, now exposed by the lack of confetti. Needless to say, Ron, Hermoine and Harry decided to run for it.  
  
"Children, children. Where are you going? Aren't you excited about our little partay today? Hee hee hee, that rhymes!" Since Snape had caught the trio escaping, and he had let Draco out of his gaze long enough for him to run and hide under a table. "Oh look, you three are under the mistletoe! Threesome threesome threesome!!!" Before they could scream in horror, Draco sprung from his hideout under the table, and shot Snape with a tranquilizer gun he had summoned. Now that the orchestrater of the spells was unconscious the decorations disappeared, and so did the food. Draco disappeared, but then reappeared at the door. Tilting his head quizzically, he tried to turn the doorknob, but it was locked.  
  
"Oh fuck! The doors locked!" Draco scowled, and turned to face the rest of his fellow students.  
  
"Draco Draco, I thought you would be beyond this by now." Hermoine muttered in her most annoying know-it-all fashion. She walked toward the door, and swooshed her wand. Even after reciting the unlocking spell several times, the door remained clamped shut. "Oh fuck"  
  
"Hey, at least were not all dressed like Draco!" Fred and George said simultaneously, causing instantaneous laughter from all but Draco.  
  
After turning bright red, Draco took out his own wand. "Clothus Evilius" he chanted, turning his happy holiday ensemble into his usual evil looking black clothing. Everyone groaned, because they had looked forward to teasing Draco the elf for the whole night. But no one noticed Hermione looking up a quick spell in her portable "Spellus For Funnus" pocket textbook.  
  
"Clothus Ballerinaus!" Hermoine recited, and soon Draco was dressed as a little ballerina, with a pink bow in hair, pink leotard, pink frilly tutu, pink tights and pink ballerina slippers. Immediately covering up the areas not quite covered by the tutu, the rest of the students laughed again.  
  
"Look George, you can see Malfoy's package!" Fred exclaimed. After everyone took their turn cracking jokes about Malfoy, the excitement dwindled.  
  
"So.. eh. what do we do now?" Ron asked  
  
"Well.." Fred and George exchanged mischievous smiles, and they swished their wands together in the air. "Lotsus Alcoholus!" Soon the group was surrounded by kegs of beer, liters of eggnog, bottles of vodka and every other alcohol you could imagine. After an exchanged shrug between the whole group, they all went ahead and got smashed!!!  
  
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********Three Hours later**************  
  
Fred and George were passed out in a puddle of gin, their arms and legs draped over each other in a highly suspicious matter. Ron was dancing around the room butt naked, twirling and leaping, every once in a while tripping over a glass, keg, bottle, or Snape. Draco was against a wall, pliaying and doing arabesque's, while singing 'Oh Holy Night'. Harry was doing kung fu in the middle of the room, continuously laughing and falling over every once in a while. Hermoine was writhing on the floor screaming  
  
"My mommy doesn't love me!!! My mommy doesn't love me!!! They never loved me!!" Her eyes were soaked red, as she was having a nervous breakdown in her absolutely drunk state. All of the sudden, Draco tired of his ballet practice, and starting cartwheeling around the room. Ron started copying him, but hit Fred and George, broke his arm, and was sprawled over them on the floor naked. Draco cartwheeled freely around the room for a while before cartwheeling into Harry.  
  
"Who dare interrupt sensei Harry Pottah!" He shouted, eyes glazed over as he jerkily turned around looking for his assailant.  
  
"Only I, the lovely Christmas princess Ballerina Dorothy!" Draco replied, curtsying with his tutu. Harry drunkenly checked 'Dorothy' out as if he really was a 'lovely' she.  
  
"And how very lovely you are indeed." Harry slurred, and pulled 'Dorothy' into a passionate kiss. They then rolled around on the floor making out and ripping off each other's clothes. They eventually rolled over Hermoine, her sobbing body pulled onto them, and the three rolled together, Hermoine sticking to the still passionate couple. Harry began licking Draco's ear, and he squealed in delight. Hermoine stuck her arms and legs out, wailing, but still could not get free as she was now sandwiched between the horny boys. She finally grabbed onto something- and used it to hit Harry and Draco. It was Snape's ankle! After rolling around fitfully for about 12 minutes, they crashed into the heap of Weasley's, and Snape and Hermoine rolled out onto either side, both fully passed out. Harry and Draco kissed each other all over, until they both ended up throwing up and falling asleep.  
  
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***********The Next Morning*************  
  
Fred and George awoke first, and pushed their way through the half naked, and in Ron's case, fully naked bodies on top of them. Summoning two Polaroid cameras, they snapped some choice pictures, and then ran out of the door giggling. As it turns out, the door was open all along, Draco and Hermoine were just pushing instead of pulling!  
  
Snape and Hermoine both woke up at different points, gasping and quickly skipping out of the room, leaving only Harry and Draco on the ground, covered in throw up and hickeys. They finally woke up at the same time, with horrible head aches and a bad hangover, taking a while to digest the situation. Harry and Draco looked at each other awkwardly, neither remembering the night before.  
  
"Erm." Harry wrestled a wand out of his back pocket. "Hangoverus Gonnus. Memorius Rememberus." Harry and Draco both jerked backwards, memories of last night playing like a videotape. Draco then turned to Harry, and there was silence.  
  
"Eh." Draco stuttered, "That was erm.. shall we have another go?" Harry nodded eagerly, and the boys spent all of Christmas in a happy lovers frenzy ^.^ 


End file.
